If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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