ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
