Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
