You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm having to shit out rocks
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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