Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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