I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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