doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
