So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
