TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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