Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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