After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
