whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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