You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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