it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
