I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
