I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
