insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize