i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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