Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
But we have bathrooms and they dont
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
