i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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