I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
