I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
