on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
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just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
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Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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