Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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