bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
