so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
