Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
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I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
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I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
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