Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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