babies were throwing up all over the place
where does the pee come out of this thing
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
