Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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