idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
