I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Im part way to drunk.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
