THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...