Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.

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  (713): you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank. http://tfl.nu/t4i5
  Replies (12) Good night (3554) Bad night (873)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.

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  (803): definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him. http://tfl.nu/8psn
  Replies (23) Good night (738) Bad night (4421)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars

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  (615): one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars http://tfl.nu/tq7c
  Replies (14) Good night (980) Bad night (3071)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up

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  (417): you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up http://tfl.nu/tq8k
  Replies (14) Good night (3301) Bad night (1736)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.

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  (248): I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together. http://tfl.nu/x99f
  Replies (11) Good night (3967) Bad night (1443)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.

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  (724): It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution. http://tfl.nu/mzdu
  Replies (0) Good night (738) Bad night (2443)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...

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  (419): Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this... http://tfl.nu/jh8c
  Replies (19) Good night (1893) Bad night (2990)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.

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  (519): No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home. http://tfl.nu/it1o
  Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (1499)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.

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  (914): Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/4mfa
  Replies (5) Good night (1706) Bad night (534)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..

  (587): View more from Alberta

  Wow. We're meant to be..

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  (403): I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask.. (587): Wow. We're meant to be.. http://tfl.nu/3d3s
  Replies (13) Good night (2630) Bad night (594)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW

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  (319): 4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW http://tfl.nu/z9cc
  Replies (9) Good night (1776) Bad night (465)
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  (909): View more from California

  Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.

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  (909): Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS. http://tfl.nu/zdw2
  Replies (7) Good night (434) Bad night (1920)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.

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  (307): The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/9x49
  Replies (12) Good night (991) Bad night (388)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room

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  (208): Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room http://tfl.nu/kejm
  Replies (1) Good night (720) Bad night (256)
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  (818): View more from California

  Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.

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  (818): Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy. http://tfl.nu/efkg
  Replies (4) Good night (848) Bad night (247)

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