Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos

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  (630): I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos! (317): Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto? (630): Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos http://tfl.nu/vb21
  Replies (20) Good night (2740) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.

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  (609): I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish. http://tfl.nu/0wzx
  Replies (46) Good night (6398) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.

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  (209): is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety. http://tfl.nu/58yh
  Replies (4) Good night (4450) Bad night (1251)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.

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  (626): im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again. http://tfl.nu/ai0s
  Replies (6) Good night (1131) Bad night (2272)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers

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  (864): I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers http://tfl.nu/0wmu
  Replies (5) Good night (1685) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.

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  (515): We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high. http://tfl.nu/7iqu
  Replies (13) Good night (1371) Bad night (548)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.

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  (512): He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came. http://tfl.nu/h4s8
  Replies (5) Good night (1643) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?

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  (202): I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right? http://tfl.nu/xedt
  Replies (3) Good night (830) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.

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  (586): He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head. http://tfl.nu/0c7d
  Replies (11) Good night (913) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.

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  (757): I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am. http://tfl.nu/vke9
  Replies (0) Good night (530) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.

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  (239): This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries. http://tfl.nu/qlqz
  Replies (5) Good night (578) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood

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  (603): I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood http://tfl.nu/2g85
  Replies (6) Good night (382) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok

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  (304): I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok http://tfl.nu/9m9q
  Replies (2) Good night (314) Bad night (156)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to

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  (613): I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to http://tfl.nu/enqj
  Replies (4) Good night (380) Bad night (137)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma

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  (616): His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma http://tfl.nu/spx4
  Replies (2) Good night (408) Bad night (145)

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