Texts From Last Night

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  (239): View more from Florida

  yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.

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  (239): yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day. http://tfl.nu/xjz6
  Replies (13) Good night (4851) Bad night (678)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.

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  (414): I want to frame my negative pregnancy test. http://tfl.nu/y335
  Replies (26) Good night (7354) Bad night (1169)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.

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  (309): ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet. http://tfl.nu/oxv5
  Replies (12) Good night (6018) Bad night (1315)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.

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  (570): I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse. http://tfl.nu/2dei
  Replies (8) Good night (3180) Bad night (1638)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.

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  (412): well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm. http://tfl.nu/hugj
  Replies (10) Good night (5263) Bad night (1034)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.

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  (503): I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken. http://tfl.nu/j72e
  Replies (6) Good night (938) Bad night (1723)
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  (707): View more from California

  We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.

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  (707): We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs. http://tfl.nu/2c0b
  Replies (5) Good night (1075) Bad night (884)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.

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  (978): I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them. http://tfl.nu/nsss
  Replies (8) Good night (1731) Bad night (652)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial

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  (406): She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial http://tfl.nu/8xau
  Replies (11) Good night (3576) Bad night (694)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.

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  (+44): Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am. http://tfl.nu/fqfm
  Replies (3) Good night (1127) Bad night (959)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.

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  (770): He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles. http://tfl.nu/ru6c
  Replies (5) Good night (476) Bad night (794)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.

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  (315): I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint. http://tfl.nu/31gg
  Replies (4) Good night (535) Bad night (338)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me

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  (251): Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me http://tfl.nu/bz24
  Replies (2) Good night (661) Bad night (360)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.

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  (715): Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue. http://tfl.nu/ct5q
  Replies (1) Good night (332) Bad night (510)
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  (661): View more from California

  She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."

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  (661): She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice." http://tfl.nu/9aos
  Replies (3) Good night (374) Bad night (576)

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