I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
