i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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