Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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