listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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