can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I smell like Dick and happiness
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
