How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
