Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
