Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
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I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
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she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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