I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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