Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
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