I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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