I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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