Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
