this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
