She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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