I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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