I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
