very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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