we made out on top of his cat.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
