god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
