For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
