the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
