dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize