so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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