It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
