i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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