barbara walters just said penis...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
